Supporting Independence

Supporting Independence

YOUR CHILDREN ARE A LOT MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU THINK!
At Preschool the children are encouraged to take responsibility for themselves, their belongings, their decisions and choices at all stages throughout the day.
This involves but is not limited to such things as putting their own lunch in the fridge, putting on their own pants, answering their own questions (through both exploration and thinking), washing up their own plate, packing away areas they have been playing, putting away their craft and organizing their own belongings and lockers.
Sometimes in our daily lives it can be quicker to just answer their questions or do it for them. In taking the time and opportunity you can support the increase of independence and build confidence in their own ability (as well as significantly support their processing and planning. Brain development). In the long run this will also help you, a lot!
As the child learns the benefits of order resulting from cooperation, he begins to view himself as a person who is capable of making a contribution to others. Growth in this area is best acquired developmentally, whereby the child becomes useful and needed at an early age, with the expectation of becoming more self-reliant and independent as time passes.
This list is ACCUMULATIVE. As the child advances in age they can continue to maintain past responsibilities as well as assuming new ones. Tasks that are the child’s own personal responsibility, such as making their bed and tidying their room, we should no longer do for them. Tasks that help the whole family may be rotated, or a choice of chores may be given.
This list, meant to suggest possibilities, is only a starting point subject to the situation and creativity of the adult.
In gaining these responsibilities, it may be wiser to proceed gradually.
This involves encouraging each child to ‘TRY’ and ‘HAVE A GO’ at new things. E.g. ‘I can’t put my own pants on…’ suggest sitting down and trying and if you need help I am right here.
If your child asks you a question answer it with another question with a prompt to the answer e.g. What’s the time? (You are setting the table for dinner) Answer – Hmm if I am setting the table what do you think the time might almost be?
Before assigning duties, it would be helpful to keep the following principles in mind:
1. Allow the children choices in which jobs they would like to do. To do nothing is NOT an acceptable choice. They follow through with the choice or accept the consequences.
2. Allow the consequences to follow logically from the uncompleted job. Do not discuss beforehand what will happen if someone does not fulfil the commitment.
3. Vary the tasks. Children become easily bored with the same chores. They like new challenges.
4. Children like to move on to more challenging work; new privileges that they can take on now that they are bigger/stronger/older.
5. Remember that you are the model of “order”. Do not expect an orderliness and cleanliness from children that you do not expect of yourself.
6. Examine your personal standards. Perhaps you are a perfectionist, you feel uncomfortable if things are slightly out of order or are concerned about what others think. Learn to accept the house as a place of activity for family members, not as a reflection of your personal worth.
7. Probably most difficult: never do for the child what he can do for himself.